• Marina

Anger

Пост обновлен 15 сент. 2019 г.


“What does it mean?”, “What’s the idea behind this painting?”, “What’s your conception?”. Such questions always confuse me, as I don’t have conceptions, I have stories.

I’ll give you an example with a painting called “Anger”, which I made in 2016. I chose this one because while stories are not always straightforward, this one is short and direct.


That year I was dead broke and depressed, I hated my ex for cheating and anger was coiling up inside of me. I was coping by watching a lot of movies, in one of which I saw Icelandic geysers. I soon forgot what movie was about, but images of the gigantic hole in the ground stuck in my brain. Everything in daily life started to remind me about it: steam trap, road works, tunnels in subway, cracks on the walls in my room.


I Googled numerous pictures of geysers and made drawings from them, but I didn’t like the result. They were boring photocopies, with no real meaning behind them.


One day I was drowning in memories and a wave of anger swept over me and even darkened my eyes. I think in this state, people get drunk and do something terrible. I wanted to write of my ex, what kind of asshole he is but stopped halfway to my laptop. Suddenly, in my imagination, I saw this huge hole in the ground very vividly, with steam rising from the bottomless darkness. I was on the edge of it and could go all the way down or I could resist. The abyss of anger and jealousy that was dragging me down crystallised in one simple picture.


I rushed to the table and began to paint and draw feverishly. After I ruined a dozen sheets, I got the picture that I wanted. The figure on it frozen halfway into complete darkness. After completing it, I stopped seeing geysers and I never sent any hate message to my ex ever again. The anger has gone, but the painting remains and it is now in a private collection in Italy.

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